Well it’s been exactly 8 days since the suicide death of Chester Bennington from Linkin Park, another band which I am quite fond of and not to dissimilar to Cornell I have sat on it for a week and of course listened to the entire back catalogue of Linkin Park during.
I knew Bennington and Cornell were very good friends with Bennington doing a cover of Halleluiah at Cornell’s funeral but I have found it hauntingly surprising that Bennington like Cornell has committed suicide and if that is not enough to draw a parallel, suicide in the very same way and of course only a matter of weeks in between.
If I were to be honest whilst sad and shattered I can’t help but think this one has left a little bad taste in my mouth and a sensibility of anger. Don’t get me wrong it is very sad that Chester has suffered from quite open depression and felt the need to end the suffering of his internal pain, a pain that he spoke of quite regularly during interviews and especially of late. But whilst listening back over the back catalogue it dawned on me throughout their albums there are no happy songs, only songs of that internal pain with lyrics of darkness and black clouds which is described quite often in the general human race as “angry music”. But it is far more than that for the other people that fit outside of the general human race – the misfits and the people who live with dark clouds over their heads and of course all the people in between a minority of the past which is fast becoming a majority at odds of 6.9% of the entire world population.
Their music gave us something to relate to and whilst lyrically dark and coupled with haunting melodic tunes I can’t help but feel that it gave you a sense of hope, that someone else out there in the world was feeling how you were, someone else was feeling your pain, your despair and your sense of unworthiness.
And if I was to draw another paradox between Cornell and Bennington they were exactly the same lyrically, they shared a lot more than just two powerful voices they obviously shared the same thoughts. So why has this one made me angrier than the other one I keep asking myself and I can really only draw to the conclusion of this….
I can’t help but feel this one on the back of Cornell’s especially the short time in between has glorified suicide a little further “made it easier” for people on the cusp of the very same despair, yes Cornell must take some of the blame also like all other previous stars who have ended their life the same way. I am not saying that they had no right to after all in your entire life the only thing that you’ll ever truly own is your life “it’s yours to do what you want with” and I am a very strong advocate of this however both had kids and commitments and I will come back to this soon. I did not feel what they did, nor did I know what was running through their minds minutes before hand but I know depression. I know what it feels like and all of the in between perhaps this is what has drawn me to both artist’s music in the first place. Suicide has crossed my mind on many occasions more so later in life but without coincidence the more years I have lived the more I learnt to live with it and deal with it. For every time, you wake up and think you’ve had enough of this life you find something to keep you going to keep you in the fight, to reset yourself.
Now this is probably an outlandish statement because of its greyness in the realm of life but there is a sense of cowardice to suicide after all not only are you giving up on yourself you are also giving up on all the people around you. Now why the greyness? because we don’t really know just what that person is feeling – is it justified that they just have had enough of life and there is no other way out of this pain but to end? Then throw in the quandaries of - would one day, week or month more of life really have made a difference or perhaps a talk with someone? I guess we will never know only that person feels what they feel but one thing that I can be sure of after losing several friends now to suicide is I have no doubt to one or two of them it would of. A gentle reminder of your children need you to fight – you need to see your end creation, your grandchildren and if you’re lucky enough your great grandchildren as life intended. For the people without children – there is some else that loves you unconditionally “everyone has some reason to fight” a purpose of life. I have no direct answers for the epidemic proportions of suicide or depression I wish I did, I so wish I did. I have also rambled on into other directions and trains of thought so I will place myself back on track, Bennington.
So why am I a little bit angry about this one? – Albert Einstein once wrote a quote to this magnitude “Be a Voice not an Echo” Chester was just that “a voice”, a voice for darkness and depression through his music, he gave people hope – I’m living it but I’m getting through it and he was a lot more open and honest about this than Cornell was. Now don’t get me wrong there is a lot more to Linkin Park and their music than just Chester (Shinoda is very talented also) but I can’t help but feel let down.
“Now here comes the greyness of this again” – maybe he had no choice and there truly was no other solution for his pain, after all it was and is his life not mine nor the other millions of fans arounds the world, I just wish he didn’t give up!! He once said in an interview that he shouldn’t be allowed inside his head by himself, I get that depression can lead to a lot of discontent within yourself upstairs.
There is no doubt though he was very talented, a true artist, a poet who was with pain, this was and is just so sad……RIP Chester Bennington 20/7/2017

Rodger the Rooster arrives, a two year old black Australorp

This year see’s the 30th anniversary of the release of one of my all-time favourite albums “the Joshua Tree” though probably a little young at the time upon the release to fully understand the complexity of the album it is truly one of those albums I have learnt to appreciate over the years both from a music and band angle. It’s hard to believe that U2 have been around since 1976 and without taking anything away from the Beatles or Stones I deeply believe now in my eyes that they would hold the mantel piece of the greatest rock and roll band of all time. My argument being held up on the fact that they have stayed together, kept recording, touring but what’s more they have kept reinventing themselves. Don’t get me wrong there is always that distinctive sound that they seem to hold (not to mention Bono’s voice) but boldly they haven’t been afraid to take their music places and seemingly got away with it across several albums now not to mention also across several generations and decades.
Anyways, enough ramblings of music (started taking this story to other places) but the main reasoning for mentioning the “Joshua Tree was we now have a “Gerry’s Tree”. Like music I seem to also have this infinity for plants both on a people and place “facets of my life perhaps”.
Throughout my course of life so far, I have managed to carry plants around with me including re propagating certain plants from certain trees, ones that I have obviously liked but also ones that have meant something to me. Heck this even included going back to one of my old houses that I had sold to borrow a plant that I had planted over one of my dogs that I had buried, luckily the front yard.
So, all in all there are now several plants and trees (quite a few now upon thought) that tell stories around the farm both in a sense of experience and remembrance, someone that has meant something to me, including animals, a plant that has been given to me along the way not to mention places we have travelled, being previous houses, all stories……
Given all the recent air play that the Joshua Tree has been receiving including the past Friday night drive up to the farm I got to thinking that it would be a great idea for Gerry, Audrey’s grandfather to plant a tree on the farm “our first one by an outsider in fact”. Gerry who normally resides in NSW has been staying at the farm for a couple of week, our very own caretaker so on Sunday we held a little tree planting ceremony and in went our very own Maple Tree which I am sure soon will be a beautiful tree in the near future as remembrance to a wonderful man who I hold in very high regard.
He turns 87 next birthday and it leaves me somewhat astonished and in awe at times to think that he is still driving around living his life as the last years are meant to be lived, exploring and spending quality time with people you love. 87 the Cricket devils number and upon our discussion of this I have told him that over the next 12 Months he needed to play with a straight bat, don’t play at everything and of course no wild shots.

With the addition of another 4 chickens we now have 10 free ranging on the weekends. Surprisingly it hasn't taken Moo or Harold to long to adjust to the newest members of the funny farm. Given that the first weekend that we had the feathered ones the dogs did nothing but circle the chook pen all weekend it now appears that all are in harmony....